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From: "Jeff Shaw" <jeffdshaw@hotmail.com>
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Bcc: 
Subject: Fwd: T-shirt Sayings
Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2001 09:15:58 -0700
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Message-ID: <F205lbpH71yEXUIEAOe0000a86c@hotmail.com>


Some old some new, some funny, some not so....

>Subject: T-shirt Sayings
>
>

>The Sex Was So Good That Even The Neighbors Had A Cigarette.
>
>I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It.
>
>I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend On Me!
>
>Some People Are Alive Only Because It's Illegal To Kill Them.
>
>I Used To Have A Handle On Life, But It Broke.
>
>Don't Take Life Too Seriously, You Won't Get Out Alive.
>
>You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Talk To Me.
>
>Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beer Holder.
>
>Earth Is The Insane Asylum For The Universe.
>
>I'm Not A Complete Idiot, Some Parts Are Missing.
>
>Out Of My Mind. Back In Five Minutes.
>
>I Want To Die In My Sleep Like My Grandfather Not Screaming And Yelling 
>Like
>The Passengers In His Car.
>
>God Must Love Stupid People, He Made So Many.
>
>The Gene Pool Could Use A Little Chlorine.
>
>It Is As Bad As You Think, And They Are Out To Get You.
>
>I Took An Iq Test And The Results Were Negative.
>
>Consciousness: That Annoying Time Between Naps.
>
>Ever Stop To Think, And Forget To Start Again?
>
>Cat ~ The Other White Meat!
>
>Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
>
>I Must Be A Proctologist Because I Work With Buttheads!
>
>Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give A Clam"-Seen On Cape Cod
>
>"That's It! I'm Calling Nana!" - (Seen On An 8 Year Old)
>
>"Wrinkled Was Not One Of The Things I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up"
>
>"Procrastinate Now"
>
>"Rehab Is For Quitters"
>
>"My Dog Can Lick Anyone"
>
>"I Have A Degree In Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?
>
>"Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (On A Baby-Size Shirt)
>
>"Finally 21, And Legally Able To Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15"
>
>"All Men Are Idiots, And I Married Their King"
>
>"West Virginia: One Million People, And 15 Last Names"
>
>"Failure Is Not An Option. It Comes Bundled With The Software."
>
>"I'm Out Of Estrogen And I've Got A Gun"
>
>"A Hangover Is The Wrath Of Grapes"
>
>"A Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins With A Cash Advance"
>
>"Stupidity Is Not A Handicap. Park Elsewhere!"
>
>"They Call It "Pms" Because "Mad Cow Disease" Was Already Taken"
>
>"He Who Dies With The Most Toys Is Nonetheless Dead"
>
>"Time's Fun When You're Having Flies - Kermit The Frog"
>
>"Police Station Toilet Stolen  Cops Have Nothing To Go On.
>
>"For Sale - Iraqi Rifle. Never Fired. Dropped Once."
>
>"Heck Is Where People Go Who Don't Believe In Gosh"
>
>"A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words But It Uses Up A Thousand Times The
>Memory."
>
>"The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth, After We're Through With It."
>
>"Time Flies Like An Arrow. Fruit Flies Like A Banana."
>
>"Ham And Eggs - A Day's Work For A Chicken; A Lifetime Commitment For A
>Pig."
>
>"Welcome To Kentucky - Set Your Watch Back 20 Years."
>
>"The Trouble With Life Is There's No Background Music."
>
>"If There Is No God, Who Pops Up The Next Kleenex?"
>
>"Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!"
>
>"The Original Point And Click Interface Was A Smith & Wesson."
>
>"My Wild Oats Have Turned To Shredded Wheat"
>
>"Computer Programmers Don't Byte, They Nibble A Bit."
>
>"Computer Programmers Know How To Use Their Hardware."
>
>"Mop And Glow - Floor Wax Used By Three Mile Island Cleanup Team."
>
>"Nyquil - The Stuffy, Sneezy, Why-The-Hell-Is-The-Room Spinning-Medicine."
>
>"Quoting One Is Plagiarism; Quoting Many Is Research."
>
>" My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences. He Thought He Was
>God And I Didn't!"


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