Mailing-List: contact pals-help@mlm.funfolks.net; run by ezmlm
Message-ID: <3A7F2147.7990FDD7@barra.com>
Date: Mon, 05 Feb 2001 13:55:20 -0800
From: David Dyson <dave@Barra.COM>
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To: "pals@funfolks.net" <pals@funfolks.net>
Subject: Jesse's apology
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      Subject:  "Public Statement by Rev. Jesse Jackson"


Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of
procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to the
population for my act of copulation. I gave in to temptation, for the
anticipation of sexual gratification that I could not obtain through
masturbation, which resulted in my fornication. I accepted her
invitation, and provided her with excitation, stimulation, penetration,
replication, and liberation. She provided lubrication (to avoid
inflammation) and I wore condoms to avoid contamination. She cried for
duplication but I insisted upon termination, in spite of her fascination
with variation. This has caused me great aggravation, and the agitation
and provocation of the media has resulted in my humiliation,
denigration, and degradation. My wife is considering castration, which
would require my hospitalization. Pray that this matter will find
culmination in my sanctification and rehabilitation so that my plans for
nomination to my ultimate vocation will not result in revocation and
termination.

I hope this proclamation has provided illumination and verification and
will prohibit further provocation.

          Sincerely,
          The Rev. Jesse Jackson