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Message-ID: <3A9C0104.A7A716F3@barra.com>
Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2001 11:33:24 -0800
From: David Dyson <dave@Barra.COM>
MIME-Version: 1.0
To: "pals@funfolks.net" <pals@funfolks.net>
Subject: pun intended
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 Subject: Pun intended
>
> 1.  Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
> The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one

> carrion allowed per passenger."
>
> 2.  Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low
> earth orbit?  They called it the herd shot 'round the world.
>
> 3.  Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.  One went to
> Hollywood and became a famous actor.  The other stayed behind in the
> cotton fields and never amounted to much.  The second one, naturally,
> became
> known as the lesser of two weevils.
>
> 4.  Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a
> fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your

> kayak and heat it, too.
>
> 5.  A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.  He
> slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot
> my paw."
>
> 6.  Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
> root canal?  He wanted to transcend dental medication.
>
> 7.  A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
> standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
> After  about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked
> them to disperse.  "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
> "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open
> foyer."
>
> 8.  A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.  One of them
> goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal."  The other goes to a
> family in Spain; they name him "Juan."  Years later, Juan sends a
> picture of himself to his birth mother.  Upon receiving the picture,
> she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
> Her husband responds, "They're twins!  If you've seen Juan, you've
> seen Amal."
>
> 9.  These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
> up a small florist shop to raise funds.  Since everyone liked to buy
> flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
> competition was unfair.  He asked the good brothers to close down,
> but they would not.  He went back and begged the friars to close.
> They ignored him.  So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the
> roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
> Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back
> if they didn't close up shop.  Terrified, they did so, thereby proving

> that:  Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.