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Subject: FW: Humor>MEGA MORON AWARDS
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2001 08:36:55 -0800
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> > MEGA MORON AWARDS
> >
> > LOUISIANA:
> > A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked 
>for
> > change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and
> > asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly 
>provided.
> > The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on 
>the
> > counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen 
>dollars.
> > [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime
> > committed?]
> >
> > FLORIDA:
> > [Uh, pardon our English] A thief burst into the bank one day wearing a 
>ski
> > mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
> > "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F**K-UP!" For a moment, everyone was
> > silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and
> > doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been
> > about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief
> > got him. The thief ran away and is still at large.
> >
> > ARKANSAS:
> > Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
> > throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
> > run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
> > window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
> > head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made 
>of
> > Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
> >
> > NEW YORK:
> > As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse
> > and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give
> > them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
> > had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
> > the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
> > there for a positive ID. To which he replied "Yes Officer..that's her.
> > That's the lady I stole the purse from."
> >
> > SEATTLE :
> > When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a
> > Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived 
>at
> > the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled
> > sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
> > gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome's sewage tank by 
>mistake.
> > The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was 
>the
> > best laugh he'd ever had.
> >
> > ANN ARBOR:
> > The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
> > King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The
> > clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
> > without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
> > they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
> >
> > KENTUCKY:
> >
> > Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain 
>from
> > the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the
> > front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their
> > truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still
> > attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain.
> > With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
> >
> > NEWARK:
> > A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a
> > car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone, and
> > told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and
> > wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was 
>arrested.

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